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Understanding Germans: Mustard

A good German enjoys his mustard especially on his Bratwurst im Brötchen (call it German hot dog if you will). Or on his grilled neck steak when watching an amateur football game or the annual Schützenfest parade (i.e. a sports riflemen’s parade, which has a long tradition in Germany, arming the public to defend villages against frightful militia in the Thirty Year’s War, that ended in 1648, and hence gives its members the only non-official opportunity in Germany to legally own guns, which can then be used for shootings in, let’s say, a shisha bar in Hanau or the assassination of a liberal politican in the same state but that’s a different story, I guess).

However, the German tongue cannot take spicy food so the traditionally hot mustard from Düsseldorf one day finally came out in a mild flavour. Its customers soon felt bored though, so the edgier ones started testing medium-spiced mustard instead. Yet that alone didn’t help. And now there’s mild medium hot mustard and spicy medium hot mustard:

So basically now there is a much larger variety to choose your mustard from. As well as there’s a much larger variety of Galaxy S20s and S10s to choose your next Samsung phone from. And that’s most likely not just a German but a whole first world thing now, isn’t it? And why it is? I don’t know. Maybe because simple is just too simple for us.

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